


I Never

by Corinna



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Community: sga_flashfic, F/M, M/M, Virgin Challenge, Virginity or Celibacy Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-05
Updated: 2013-04-05
Packaged: 2017-12-07 08:28:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corinna/pseuds/Corinna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"...Either you have a really interesting case of amnesia, or -- does that even work?" Written for the SGA Flashfic Virgin Challenge.</p>
<p>Spoilers for S1 through "The Storm/The Eye"</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Never

Once he’d chatted a little with Dr Weir and finished off his mouthful of champagne, John walked around the edges of the party, trying to make it seem real. He’d barely even served with Marines before, and now he had most of a batallion’s worth to lead in a fight against life-sucking space creatures. They didn’t teach that sort of thing in OCS.

Beneath a balcony overhang, he nodded at a bunch of scientists who’d staked out spots close to the barbecue grills. Dr. McKay had been the only person at the debriefing who hadn’t freaked out over the story of how Sumner died, but that might just have been because he was already so freaked out about everything else. Anyone so sure he was risking death every time he had lunch was dealing with a different sort of risk calculus than most people. John made a mental note to talk to Dr. Weir about adding McKay to the offworld team.

Lt. Ford would have to be on the team too, at least at first. John wasn’t ready to have a 2IC he hadn’t spent solid time with out in the field, and anyhow Ford was a good kid, game and quick-thinking. He’d do fine.  _In fact_ , John thought,  _I should talk to him about it now._  But Ford was nowhere to be found in the crowd, so John just shrugged and headed back towards his quarters for some rest.

In one of the long hallways, he heard Ford’s voice, and picked up his pace to catch him. But when he got to the corner, he stopped short. Ford was standing with Pereira, one of the lab techs, in front of what had to be her room, his hands earnestly laced in hers. John fell back into the shadows, hoping he hadn’t been seen.

“...always taught me I should wait,” Ford said. “And I always thought it would be worth it, to have a wedding night that really meant something, you know? But now — watching the colonel die, Sonia, it made me realize all we have is today. And I was hoping I could ask you, well, ...”

“ _Meu bem_ ,” she purred, “it would be my pleasure.” She put her hand to the door, and when it slid open, she pulled Ford inside by his collar.

John shook his head. He didn’t think any Marine’s buddies were going to let him get past basic with his cherry, but if saying he had got him a woman as hot as Sonia Pereira, good for him. And if somehow it was true, well, Ford was right. It was time for the boy to seize the day, not to mention the lab tech. John let himself smirk at that thought, and he whistled the rest of the way back to his room.

 

* * *

 

Three weeks after the Athosians picked up and moved to the mainland, there was a celebration of their first planting, and this time it was the Earth team doing the cooking. They broke out some of their precious stash of hotdogs and sauerkraut, and and set up a field for a game of touch football. The Athosians even picked up the rules, mostly. 

Grodin was organizing games for the kids: Red Rover and three-legged races and capture the flag. He was good with them, and earning the Earthers some much-needed points with the Athosians. It helped that Bates tripped during the potato-sack race and went flying into the dust – even Teyla couldn’t help giggling.

Rodney had been dragged out of his lab for the afternoon under protest, and was sitting in the shade with his computer. It was pointless to try to get him to play, the way a few of the Athosian kids had done – he was having fun where he was. When he saw something that needed fixing, John figured, he’d be back. 

At nightfall, it was time to set up some basic security perimeters to keep people from wandering off and getting lost. Bates had it under control, but John couldn’t stop himself from checking in the woods anyhow for lost kids or predators or whatever. He told himself Teyla would appreciate the personal touch. There was a thicket of broad-branched trees at the edge of their campground, and he started his patrol there.

“...very traditional people,” came a familiar voice. “And one of our traditions is that you’re not, you know, intimate with someone until you’re married. Joined.” John crept a few yards further into the woods. Ford was sitting on a downed log with one of the Athosian women, Meyra. She was gorgeous, and she was looking into Ford’s eyes with careful attentiveness. “But one thing I’ve learned from your people is that I have to live each day to the fullest. So I know I can’t wait any longer, Meyra, and I was hoping —”

John coughed. Ford jumped to his feet, weapon at the ready. 

“Who’s there?” he called.

“Lieutenant.” John stepped closer, into what little light was left. “A word?”

Ford’s eyes went wide, and he lowered his rifle. “Major Sheppard?” He made a complicated apologetic gesture at Meyra, and followed John back into the trees. “What’s wrong, sir?”

“Nothing. But, not as a senior officer now, just man to man, either you have a really interesting case of amnesia, or — does that even work?”

“What?” Ford looked horrified.

“I saw you and Pereira, the first night. You fed her the same line.”

“Sir!” Ford practically jumped out of his skin. “She might  _hear_  you.”

“It’s a small community, Ford. Place like this, there’s nothing to do but gossip. Meyra’s going to find out, and Pereira, and whoever else, and it won’t be pretty. I saw it all the time in Antarctica.”

Ford grimaced. “You think?”

“I know,” John said, putting as much meaning as he could into it.

“I should’ve realized.” Ford sighed. “It was too good to last. I’ve been getting more tail — pardon me, sir.”

“No need to apologize to me for that.” John still couldn’t quite believe it. “Really? It works for you? The whole, uh, virgin thing?”

Ford’s smile took up half his face. “Like a charm. I’m not saying it would work for everyone: I’m a lot younger than you, Major.” John gave him a mean fake smile for that. “But it’s perfect for me. They never say no, not when I give them the whole I-can’t-wait-anymore speech. A girl who’s worried about making the sex good for you? Who knows you’re not ready for a big commitment? It’s amazing. And besides, that Brazilian bikini wax...”

“I don’t want to know,” John said. “Look, Ford, none of this is an order. But I think you’re better off coming up with a new line. One that doesn’t rely on the women here not talking to each other about their conquests.”

“Women do that?” Ford looked astounded. 

Over at the campground, Rodney had started shouting. John slapped Ford on the shoulder and headed back.

 

* * *

 

Even after the last of the evacuees had been returned safely to Atlantis, John’s nervous system was still lit up like a Christmas tree. He’d forgotten what it was like, to fight the way he’d fought the Genii: how it made you feel afterwards. He’d always had places to go when the fighting was over, bars he went to with his buddies and sometimes the ones he went to alone. But he officially didn’t know about all the moonshine in the city, so drunk wasn’t an option. Neither was anything else. Unless...

John reminded himself he could have been reading it wrong. It wasn’t a situation he could really afford to get wrong, not with everything else he had to keep getting right. He wasn’t much of a CO, he knew that, but he was keeping them all alive and talking to one another, and he didn’t want to fuck that up. But maybe he wasn’t reading the signs wrong. He knew he wasn’t.

John kept up the argument with himself until Rodney opened the door to his quarters and let him in.

“How’s the arm?” John asked.

“Better,” Rodney said. He waved his arm at John: there was no sign of blood on the white gauze bandage. “Thanks so much for your concern. If that’s all?”

“I was wondering,” John said.

Rodney stood there, waiting.

“I was wondering,” John tried again. He didn’t usually lose his nerve, but then again he didn’t usually ask if he thought he might get a no.

“Yes? What?”

“Well, it’s like this.” There was another long awkward pause, and then John had an inspiration. “I know I don’t talk about this, Rodney, but I was raised Air Force. My folks were real traditional people. And I knew there were things I couldn’t do. Couldn’t be. And I thought I was OK with that. But we almost lost Atlantis today. Twice. And I’m tired of pretending I don’t feel....” He stepped closer to Rodney, close enough to touch. “That I don’t want...”

Rodney blinked. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“I want to know what it’s like to be with another man,” John said as earnestly as he could. “I want you to fuck me.”

Rodney was openmouthed, struck dumb, and for an awful second John thought he had miscalculated, until Rodney snapped out of it with an almost audible click. “If that’s what I — yes, sure,  _absolutely._  I — you’re sure?” John nodded. “OK. I’ve got — we could...” Rodney put his hand on John’s hip, and met his eyes gravely. “I want to make this good for you. So you’ll let me know. If there’s anything.”

Jesus, Ford was a sharp kid. John let Rodney pull him in for a surprisingly tender kiss and lead him to the bed. He remembered to act awkward and self-conscious as he pulled off his boots, and Rodney thoughtfully turned the lights out, leaving just the bluish glow of Rodney’s flat-panel computer screen on the desk at the far side of the room. When John finished undressing, Rodney was already under the covers: he pulled them back for John a little, reassuringly. John refused to cringe. He reminded himself how long it had been since he’d had sex in an actual bed, even one as narrow as Atlantis’s cots, and got in.

Rodney’s hands had been warm, but his feet were still cold and clammy, and John couldn’t help the sharp inhale when they brushed against his own. Even in the mostly dark, he could see Rodney’s frown at that. “Sheppard, if you’re not sure about this... you do know that there are other things we could do, right? Not that I don’t enjoy it myself, but there are plenty of other things I’d really, really enjoy, is all.”

“Rodney,” and it took all of John’s control not to snap at him, “it’s what I want.” He brushed his hand up the length of Rodney’s dick to emphasize the point. Rodney made a surprised, pleased noise and kissed him again. John didn’t usually care much for kissing with men, but this would do. Rodney’s kiss wasn’t pushy or grabby: in fact, for a guy whose adrenaline had to be spiked as high as John’s was after the Genii attack, he kissed like he had all the time in the world. It was nice, but it wasn’t what John needed. He moved Rodney’s hand to his ass.

“Turn over,” Rodney said in a low voice John hadn’t heard before. “It’ll be better that way.”

John went to his hands and knees. “I’ve put my own fingers up there,” he confessed breathily as Rodney rummaged through the drawers of a bedside table. “When I jerk off, at night. To know what it feels like.” Talking like this, he was turning himself on, imagining that other John Sheppard, the one who didn’t do things like this no matter how much he wanted to. “You don’t have to spend too much time, you know, getting ready.”

“It’s not the same: the angle’s all wrong.” Rodney’s hands were working slow circles on John’s lower back, relaxing the muscle. “Besides, I want to.”

It had been a while, long enough that the first touch inside felt weird, but just for a second, and then it was all anticipation, his whole body hot and tingling with want, his heart pounding loud in his ears. Rodney took his time, using his tongue and well-lubed fingers, gently and carefully, until John wanted to scream. When he finally felt Rodney pushing his dick in, he was more than ready.

“OK, you’ll tell me, right, if this hurts, or feels wrong, at any time, and I’ll stop, I will.”

“McKay,” John groaned, pushing his hips back, “shut up and fuck me already.”

Rodney had gotten a lot better at taking orders, and he took this one without question, thrusting hard. John let his head drop, let his eyes close, and finally took what he needed, everything else fading away until there was only Rodney hitting that sweet spot, over and over again, and Rodney’s hand meeting his own on his dick. He came with a shout, and Rodney kept fucking him until he came too, slumping warm and familiar against John’s back. 

When John came out of the bathroom afterwards, Rodney had already put his undershirt and boxers back on. “Like hell you’ve never done that before, Major.”

John scrambled into his own underwear. “Well. What gave me away?”

“So very many things,” Rodney said. “So very many. But I’d have to say the part where you were shouting ‘harder, faster, harder, faster,’ didn’t exactly suggest a blushing novice.”

“I could have just been a prodigy,” John said.

Rodney snorted dismissively. “What was the point? Some pervy fantasy?”

“I thought you’d say yes.” John shrugged and reached for his pants. “Worked, didn’t it?”

“ _Worked?_  You could’ve just asked, you know.”

“All right,” John said, buckling his belt. “Next time, I will.”

“Next time?” Rodney sounded outraged. “Next time? I — oh. Yes. That would be fine.” He gave John a dopey little smile, hopeful and cocky in equal measure, and John had to smile back.

“Good. I always heard the second time was better.”

Rodney’s aim when he threw his pillow at John was for shit, but John figured they could work on that too.

 


End file.
